The art of good communication can be summarised in four points: Be a good listener so you truly understand what others say to you. Good listening earns genuine respect and admiration, and is one of the secrets of popularity. Have something good to say . Boring people make boring conversation. Express yourself well . Use colourful, descriptive language. Make your conversation sound interesting. Appeal to the emotions .
There’s a wise saying: The head never hears until the heart has listened. You’d be amazed how much more confident you feel when you’re a good listener. You find you can handle business and social situations confidently. Become a good listener and you’ll gain a reputation as a good conversationalist without having to say very much at all. “The Chinese verb to listen is composed of five charactersmeaning ear, you, eyes, individual attention, heart.The art of listening involves all of our being. Lynda Field ”
‘so Glad I’d Listened’
A client told me this story.
‘I was travelling home on a bus when an elderly man, stinking of alcohol, sat down beside me, a bit too close for my liking. My first instinct was to move to another seat, which is what I would normally have done, but the bus was crowded and I didn’t want to appear rude. I felt extremely uncomfortable.
The man started talking to me. At first I listened. He seemed harmless enough, so I decided to ask some open-ended questions to see if I could keep the conversation going. I noticed he had several carrier bags with him, and asked him if he enjoyed shopping. He said he didn’t particularly, but since his wife died several years ago he had no choice. I asked about his wife, and he told me how much he missed her. They had known each other at school, married young and been together for nearly half a century. He had got into the habit of having a few drinks with his friends on the way home from town to delay going back to an empty house. He seemed glad to have an opportunity to talk about his wife, and wished me a cheery goodbye when he reached his stop.
As he rose from his seat, he said he’d enjoyed our conversation, but I was aware I hadn’t really said very much. I was glad I had listened to him.
And I noticed my uncomfortable feelings had gone completely .’