First impressions last. We make up our minds about other people very quickly. We form 90% of our opinions about others in the first four minutes, so it’s vital you think about how you present yourself to others.The next few sections are about communicating with others. Talking to other people can be a nightmare when you lack confidence, especially if you’re meeting them for the first time. But even though we don’t tend to think of it that way, conversation is a skill we can all learn, starting with a few basic techniques, then gradually developing our own style.
A sustained effort to improve your listening, conversational skills and assertiveness will enable you to reach new heights of confidence. Nothing brings confidence more surely than knowing that you can talk to people easily; that you always have something to say and know how to say it. “We often pardon those who bore us, but never those whom we bore. Duc De La Rochefoucauld”
Keep Your Options Open!
There was a buzz in the hall as the new graduates and their parents consulted the seating plan and made their way to the tables. The ceremony had gone well. Now they could relax and tuck into a sumptuous graduation dinner in these stately surroundings.
But not everyone. The morning had been something of a trial for Will, a shy, retiring man who nevertheless enjoyed company. He turned to the woman next to him, anxious to start a conversation. He smiled nervously, trying to think of something witty to say. ‘I’ve always thought it’s important to keep two things open in life,’ he blurted out, ‘your options and your bowels.’
There was an embarrassed silence around the table, followed by uneasy spluttering. The woman turned her back. Will’s daughter blushed. And no further attempts at conversation ensued for the remainder of the lunch.