Forgive, Forget And Be Free
No matter how you feel about it, as an adult you are totally responsible for the way you respond to everything that happens. Thinking otherwise just keeps you stuck in a victim pattern. Confidence and inner peace will only be yours when you stop blaming and practise forgiveness. Who is there to forgive? Anyone whom you have ever blamed for how your life has turned out including, of course, your parents or guardians. After all, they had parents too! They were products of their own conditioning. They too may have suffered from low self-esteem or been under stress, and if they hurt you it was probably because they didn’t know any better. Besides, forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning what was done, only that you are willing to live with whatever happened. And whether the perpetrators deserve to be forgiven is irrelevant; they may be completely culpable. But you don’t do it for them . You do it for yourself .You’re only hurting yourself by hanging on to the bitterness and resentment you’ve been carrying around with you. Forgiveness is not necessarily easy, but is absolutely essential if you are to grow in maturity, self-esteem and confidence. It’s how you set yourself free. “If you haven’t forgiven your parents, you haven’t left home. Anon.”
‘from This Day On, I Send You Love’
Dr Wayne Dyer’s first book,
Your Erroneous Zones has sold over 35 million copies, and subsequent works, including
Pulling Your Own Strings,
Real Magic and
The Sky’s The Limit have inspired millions more. He speaks to packed auditoriums all over the world. Yet it was not always so. In his early 30s, he was far from successful, two stones overweight, trapped in an unhappy relationship and, by his own admission, a candidate for an early heart attack.
Dr Dyer points to one specific incident as the turning point in his life – an act of forgiveness. When he was a baby his father, a man with a reputation as wifebeater, alcoholic and petty criminal, walked out, never to make contact again. He died at a relatively young age. Dr Dyer had grown to detest him and frequently had nightmares about beating him up.
Then, in 1974, he found himself at his father’s grave, angrily demanding an explanation. Suddenly, something came over him. The hurt and hatred melted away and he offered a prayer: ‘From this day on, I send you love.’ Then he walked away.
Immediately, everything changed. Within two weeks, he wrote
Your Erroneous Zones . He started exercising daily, terminated the painful relationship and forged a reputation that is second to none in his field.
Ask him about his past, he shrugs his shoulders. ‘It happened,’ he says. ‘That’s all.’