Many people find it difficult to ask for what they want or to complain about poor service even when they are fully justified. They think it’ s impolite. They don’t like upsetting people, or worry they might be met with hostility. They prefer to ‘put up and shut up’. Why? There are two main root causes:
Low self-esteem ; feeling unworthy of getting what they want.
Not knowing how to ask or complain effectively.
Confident people aren’t afraid to complain. They’re happy to ask for help when they need it. They find out what they’re entitled to, and refuse to settle for any less. They know it’s better to ask and run the risk of being turned down than to bottle up their grievances and lose out for sure.
“The greatest danger for most of us is not that our
aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too
low and we reach it.
Michelangelo ”
‘you Didn’t Ask!’
Many years ago, before I was as confident as I am now, our camper van broke down in Germany. The insurers arranged for us to be towed to a local garage. We were told we could camp on the spare ground behind the garage while repairs were carried out and use the forecourt facilities during trading hours.
My wife, three young children and I stayed there for three days and nights, with no running water and no toilets from 6pm to 8am, no privacy, and constant noise from the busy road.
By the fourth day we were very fed up. Repairs hadn’t even started because they couldn’t get spare parts, so we telephoned the insurance company in England. ‘This is intolerable,’ we said. ‘At this rate we could be here for days. What can we do?’
‘Your policy entitles you to bed and breakfast in a three star hotel until your van is repaired,’ the young woman on the ‘phone informed us. ‘Do you want us to arrange it for you? We’ll fix it up right away.’
Astonished, we asked why no one had told us this before. ‘You didn’t ask!’ she replied.
Would you believe it! We’d spent three days and nights living on a mud patch when we could have been staying in a comfortable hotel! All because we had been reluctant to ask about our entitlement.