To build confidence you will occasionally have to push yourself to do things you don’t feel like doing and put yourself on the line. Welcome every opportunity. Avoiding fresh challenges, difficult people and awkward situations is never gratifying in the long term and just keeps you stuck as you are now. In a recent study by sociologist Dr Anthony Campolo, a sample of the over nineties were asked what they would do differently if they had to go back and do it all again. Most said they would take more risks. They regretted the opportunities they had lost because they were afraid of taking risks.
Of course taking risks invites failure, but that’s OK. You can’t expect to sail through life without coming a cropper sometimes, it’s a natural part of human experience. Babies learning to walk topple over many times. As adults we too will fall, recover our balance and get back on our feet again. Nobody gets everything right all the time.Go on – take a risk (you know you want to)! If it feels uncomfortable it’s only because you’re not used to it. Change always feels uncomfortable at first, because your past conditioning tries to hold on to your old ways.
Confident people don’t always succeed, but they do always enjoy trying and they don’t feel any less a person if they fail. Be willing to confront your fears. Feel the fear, but don’t be affected by it. You don’t have to do everything perfectly. Just being yourself and having a go is enough. “Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, magic and power in it. Begin it now. Goethe” “The greatest success is not in never failing, but in rising every time you fall. Vince Lombardi ”
‘now We’ve Done It Once, We’d Do It Again Anytime.’
Sisters Valerie and Linda loved singing, but the thought of performing in public terrified them. Humming along to the radio was one thing, but standing up in front of an audience was a different matter. Then one day, encouraged by her daughter’s music teacher, Valerie decided to have a go and before long Linda signed up too.
A few weeks later the teacher invited them to take part in a workshop run by a top singing instructor from London, concluding with a concert in front of the other participants plus an invited audience of family and friends.
As the dreaded moment of the performance drew near, they panicked. ‘I can’t go through with this,’ said Valerie to the instructor.
‘Neither can I,’ added Linda.
‘Yes you can’ he insisted, pointing. ‘You sit on those stools and do it. Now!’
Taken aback by his vehemence they sat down, took a deep breath and began. They sang beautifully and the audience applauded wildly.
‘It’s amazing how much more confident we feel’ they said afterwards. ‘Now we’ve done it once, we know we can do it, and it doesn’t feel too bad…’